So here we are.
In order for us to love we must first be loved.
If you think about it we only know what love is from experience and then we connect that understanding to our own personal ideas. I remember reading a philosopher whose name I can’t remember, who said “in order for us to love one another we must first have had met Love the entity.”
This philosopher believes God is the entity. Which seems simple enough to conclude since the bible says “God is love.” And as a pastor I believe in this wholeheartedly.
I’m certain this stirs up questions like “if god is so loving than why did my grandmother die?” or “why does this person have cancer?”
To be honest I don’t have that answer, I guess that is why faith exists.
Back to the point.
To love we must first know love. Really we must first experience love. It is from that experience we love others and ourselves.
For me it has been a journey of discovering I am loved and that I am lovable. Sounds all self-help, I know. Entertain this idea for a moment with me, we control how much we are loved by how lovable we believe we are. I did not see myself as lovable. I saw myself as useful. I had a large amount of skill sets which I could help those around me so I always volunteered myself to help because it gave me this sense of love. I got burned out, feeling used and abused. It was then I realized I had nothing to offer anyone other than me.
Was that going to be enough?
Then it hit me. The same people who I believed would eventually fade into my past were still there. They loved me.
This isn’t my only “ah ha” moment, like the philosopher, I sought out the entity of love. The person of love. Within that ideology or better said within the physical being of love I found my own lovability.
You are loved because you are loved because you are lovable. You are lovable because you are loved. Nothing makes you less lovable and nothing makes us less lovable, luckily for us this is not really up for debate. We are loved!
Being “perfect” or not having any faults, baggage, anxieties, or blemishes in our lives does not dictate how lovable we are. One thing that comes from the acknowledgement of our lovability is that we don’t have to be perfect to be loved perfectly. As I did and am doing little by little, let the wall down. Allowing others to see the beautiful mess that makes up who I am.
Let’s stop trying to sell how magnificent we are to one another. One of the best things we can do is to not over promise ourselves. This is what leads to disappointments or unmet expectations. For me, seldom will I ever make a promise and when I do I keep it.
You are magnificent because you are you and no one else is like you.
It is my hope that you will search out this entity known as Love and may you discover your lovability. Through being patient and kind to yourself you will see what has always been lovable, what has always been you.