Have you ever Googled intimacy?
If you are looking for something other than porn I would not suggest it.
That is what society as whole has evolved to, intimacy is sex.
In one of my previous posts I stated that intimacy and sex are two different things.
Many cannot separate the two in their minds but they are separate. When you remove emotion from the act of sex it is completely physical and primitive. People can have sex without having any emotional attachment or intimacy involved, the goal is reaching a point of pleasure.
Intimacy is much more than emotions. Someone giving you butterflies or making your heart smile does not necessarily indicate intimacy between two people. Emotions are tricky when it comes to intimacy because you can even think you love some or they love you but lack intimacy, lack any real bond other than this feeling deep in your heart which seems to dictate your world.
So what is intimacy? Real intimacy?
I used to jokingly describe intimacy as being able to order someone’s Starbucks drink for them without having to ask them what they would like, since then that idea has changed. Naturally with age our thoughts and beliefs change due to life experience, so now I believe my Starbucks intimacy analogy to be that intimacy is when you can create a new drink for that person and have it become their go to drink. Intimacy is just that, knowing someone so well that you can take various things and make something they enjoy.
In To Me You See…Intimacy
In a relationship I ask so many questions! I always ask “why?” and “how?” this is not to be annoying or difficult. I promise. I really want to know the person I am with. I want to know the path in their mind and thought process that leads them to liking spaghetti with chili beans so much or why they smile when a specific song comes on. I want to know these things not because I am analyzing them to make them a case study, to be a creeper, but because knowing someone beyond the surface is what true intimacy really is.
When we let the façade down, which we hope everyone believes, and we are able to accept ourselves with our imperfections and all the things that make us unique then we can begin intimacy. Intimacy begins within ourselves. Intimacy is when we let down our walls and allow the real us to live, this begins within.
Here are some benefits building an intimate relationship with yourself:
All the self help books and tapes can never amount to the power of a person who is comfortable with themselves.
Having intimacy within ourselves helps us carve a path to guide those whom we wish to be intimate with.
Knowing who are and accepting it gives you the empowerment to make healthy changes to become who want to be.